JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
