just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize