She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
