Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize