my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
