Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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