im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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