So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
