dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
