maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
