so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
