Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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