I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
