he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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