I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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