"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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