Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
