question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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