look no pants
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
