And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize