I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
