Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
