Can Purell be used as lube?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
