I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
