On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
