Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
