Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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