I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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