so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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