I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
