Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
