they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
