they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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