I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
