wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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