the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
