peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
