her vagine was all disorganized.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
