I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize