You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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