You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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