Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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