have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am spending my child support on dildos
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think I sprained my soul last night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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