and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize