porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
