I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
