Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man

Fav 16 5356 960
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

Fav 18 4530 1256
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(309): View more from Illinois

I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

Fav 42 5698 2013
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(615): View more from Tennessee

His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

Fav 11 2588 1126
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(757): View more from Virginia

The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner

Fav 10 2442 1128
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

Fav 14 5147 1072
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I pray for you bro.

Fav 1 564 891
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.

Fav 3 51 24
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(582): View more from

You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.

Fav 0 75 4
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