yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
