that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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