it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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