btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
