return my video game
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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