never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize