You smell like stripper and shame
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
