Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
