New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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