After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
