My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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