Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she peed on how many people?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
