going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
