That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
