Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
