so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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