accomplished twins. life is a go
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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