You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
