u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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