You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
