You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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