Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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