she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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