I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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