She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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